what is the requirement be lovers??

This is something that flash through my mind yesterday~~ recently I been thinking a lot about romance~~ how to be a perfect lover?? why is it relationship so fragile??

ya, I still can't find the answer since I not into 1 yet~~ :P

People always ask what kind of girl do you like?? There are answers like MUST BE "Pretty"(too common answer =.=), tall and slim such of appearance looks answer~~ For girl, handsome, manly, masculine, some even have fatty choice ~.~ the imagination lover in everyone are as perfect as they can thought about~~

BUT!!! this IS reality~~~ imagination is just imagination after all~~~ I met many girls in the past, but truly not more than 1 gave me an instant love in first sight feeling, the only 1 was 11 and a half years ago~~ First sight, they were just common like others, no 1 ever reach the "requirement" in the appearance I wish for~~ after being together as friend for sometime, ya, it's wasn't just normal and simple friendship feeling~~ it become caring and liking instead~~ it's something I wouldn't expect when I first met them~~

this is where I realize, remind me of my first "love"(although nothing started, but still the 1 I love =X)~~ Friends always ask me why I like her?? Words like "She not pretty at all", "If it is me, I will never choose her", "She's not one-hearted, everyone knows it"~~~ Conclusion, not much of positive comments about her~~~ ~.~ ya, so?? I was fallen for her, mere harsh words doesn't even change my loving on her~~~

This is where I realize, "When love come, the appearance of the other half is not longer a requirement". well, first thing of all of course "Love" have to come first, if not this phrase doesn't work~~ XD

Ya, good appearance always give people a very first good inspiration~~ but, after sometime, the good looking 1 doesn't match your other requirements as knowing him/her more~~ Ya, I do have experience on this 1~~ XD right, someone I know??? =3

Still holding on~~~

Up to today, it's almost been 11 and half years pass since I met you. You who come out of no where, don't even know who you are, haven't even start talking to you, the strongest feeling I get last almost half of my lifetime, up till now, never once fade off.

Ya, I know we never meant to be together, but thanks to you, I can hold my own romance strongly up to now, up to this moment. Many women I had met, but never seem there is one which cross with my fate. Many I care, not a single 1 can be loved.

Maybe I am too naive, being too optimistic in the end will end up hurting myself. Being too depress will end up killing myself, being too careful, end up with....... nothing.......

What is perfect lovers?? it's existence is still myth...........

Sorry ya, guess I will still holding the feeling you gave me, to keep my heart in shape.

my forever romance~~

well, finally most of the ugly things have been cleared away~~
although the most beautiful thing haven't come to me yet~~ XD

it's about romance~~
romance = 2 persons not 1 person, forever love will never happen if only 1 person who is doing the loving~~

not sure whether it's just my imagination or what, the people in the modern doesn't seem to know what is loving~~ ya, i do see but not many potential couples which are truly romantic, that is how its suppose to be, an unbreakable bond~~ yet, there are many fragiles~~

or, it is the truth that romance have to face so many obstacles? even it is unnecceasry??? still can't find a answer myself cause I not into 1 yet~~ my ideal love is still far beyond my reach~~ XD

well, it's not a bad thing either~~ rather than just go into a short term relationship~~ wouldn't like that at all~~ the romance I keep safe for over 10 years will only be given to 1, although I have to admit is no longer to the 1st 1~~ nothing been happened between 2 of us, nothing at all~~ just me who is playing around with my feeling~~ XD

past is past, but the feeling is forever present~~ will never forget what is romance is, I hope~~ that my anger won't destroy it~~ so, gotta be romantic every single days, even it's only me~~ XD

counting bad things happened recently.

1st thing, fees problem... Don't understand how smart they are to finish off the granted money...

2nd thing, EW Juniors internal problem happened again... Why are there troublemakers inside the group?? If you think the current leader isn't good, then, who else is?? He just trying to make thing right and you don't even appreciate it and even plays politic among each others... Is it just to have fun so damn hard??

3rd thing, short of cash... Don't know how to write, just short of cash...

4th thing, a stupid sister which spend her money fast... Gets 1st month salary on 7th March, paid me back RM 50, which I borrowed from my friend just for her... On 12th March, sms me to ask money from her mom... What the fuck!?

5th thing, people just keeo picking bones on me... Not just recently, since many years ago, start from people first judge me that I look "ugly"... Ya, you look good, I know that, en, you damn right... So? If you are judging by the appearance, go make love with the TV and Magazine... Edison Chan would be a good choice...

6th thing, not going to reveal it...

7th thing, not yet... Let's hope it's not coming to me... Although I think it's impossible... Life is fills with sorrow and pain, you can only choose "to be", there isn't a choice "not to be" for you... No matter what is coming, 1st thing have to settle is my fees problems... In the mean time, work the shit out of me!

my ways of life~~~

Finish doing EW Juniors first poster, and just ate my supper which supposingly is my dinner~ well, it's still taste good even it's already cold~~

Actually I'm already exhausted and typing with only 1 hand while lying flat on the table, but thought of something I should write it down~~

I always wish that I can stay in a kiddy way and enjoy every moment of my life, but, others just keep giving nuisances on my behaviours... they just keep bringing it up which I think it's not even worthly to discuss about... I'm just being comfortable for what I am and I'm sure I'm not making it up or acting about it at all... My behaviours is true as it is, and not that I even want to gain any attention by doing so but, that just the way I am... If not, are you telling me to be a fake person and every single things I do have to behave like an adult man? Talk loud, talk hard, talk seriously?? That just ain't who I am... Hate it when anyone just keep on catching minor bugs of my behaviours... Isn't being natural to yourself is what it is suppose to be?? Why should I need to fake it out??

And people keep "worrying" that I will be gay or girlish, which I already get really irritated by them, then I spell it out here... "Even falling into the deepest fucking hell, not a chance!!" I don't give a damn what is happening around me, I only care those I care and the love I had been protecting all these years... You may think I seem like anti-social but many are hardly able for me to social with, in a friendly way... I do not wish for all the attention and flattering, can't just being friends just as simple as it suppose to be?? Just to fool around with each others and having fun?? Can't they just stop complaining and judging me as what they think is right???????? Why do they want to make things to be so freaking hell complicated??????????????????????????????????????

Just can't understand these people........................................... I'm a very bad temper person just in case you don't know me, then, is that what you want me to be?? I'm easily get hot-headed recently, as I said before, too many "EXTRA" matters been bothering me...... Hope I can be peaceful for the moment.................

This is bad~~~ real bad~~~

Shit~~~ I'm starting to get frustrated again... Why are there so many bloody shit obstacles bothering me?? I got tons of stuffs I need to take care of in my study and all the non-related things just keep bugging me and my precious time to going to waste.........

Damn it.... Seems like I'm still unmature, but I really can't control my anger.... Just hate doing things which others telling me I "MUST" do it.... What is the different from being forced??

Don't seem writing today help chilling me out.... Only things I could do now is to settle everythings! And I mean whatever things that I "BEING ORDERED" to do, fuck them all out~~~ And no more Mr. Nice Guy until end of this month.......

Writing blog~~

It's been awhile since I last wrote a blog. Anyway, it's a good sign cause I only write when I'm sad~ Most of it, ya~~ =3

Writing blog can really helps me release from any of my stress, it's just like speaking out the truth I'm thinking within my heart~~ And I never lied in my writing~~

Lying in my blog means I'm just lying to myself, then really there is no point to write if I am to fool myself~~

Yeap~~ There was something happened during my Fashion study~~ but, since it's already settled, which I think it is, so, I will just let it slip away this time~~ :P

Come into the present~~ You know what?? I cut my hair for the very first time in these 6 years~~ wow~~ And now only I realized that it's already past six years since I left secondary school~~ time flies, and have been through a lot in the past~~ thinking back the past, knowing how childish I was back then~~ Even till now, can't say I already mature~~ :P there are much more for me to see and learn~~

And you know why I cut my hair?? hehe~~ for the coming Fashion Show in April? ya~~ but just a excuse~~ My hair grown quite long, until I can't feel it's growing any longer and it gets curly and thick~~ so, cutting it this time and growing it long again~~ =3 refresh the feeling of growing long hair once again~~ cool~~ XD

haha~~ guess I still prefer long hair after all~~ no point bother whats other think about me~~ a book shouldn't be judged by the cover~~ I still hold on to this phrase until now~~ =3 It is my own romance after all, who cares what others think what they think is right, in their ways~~ but definitely it's not "my" way of thinking~~ haha~~ too bad~~ hardly anyone can convince me to change my heart so easily~~ XD